My sad unhappy story …

This is the continuation of my last post encouraged by some positive comments.
I apologise for dragging my problems in my posts but i am in a very bad place right now and the Christmas holidays make it even worse.
I never really had any real chance for anything in life, had terrible eyes problems since i was born and horrible back problems which is why i can’t even get a decent job anymore. It looks like i was cursed from day one.
Never even had a brother growing up. Always by myself forever and always.
But the worst of all is the longing for a cute little boy, a son. It is getting worse every year. I used to walk around in grocery stores or elsewhere where prople come with their kids just to be close to them even just for a few seconds.
I am not interested in men or boys or teens sexually but only as an older wiaer guy, friend, brother, father etc.
To make things even worse boys really like me. And kids in general. Its like we have some out of this world connection that nobody else understand.
We immediately become friends. Its hard to explain. And the sad fact that i will never get a chance to have one of those beautiful boys of my own is really painful. Liking other proples kids is fine but at the end of the day they go home. And yet again you are left sad and alone. And it’s especially hard now at Christmas time. If this blog closed i don’t know what i would do.
In continuation some of my photos at 8 years old. As you see i was never a looker, which is why i like wstching beautiful kids now. Thank you for taking a minute of your day to read this sad life story.
All the best wishes for you and your families
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35 thoughts on “My sad unhappy story …

  1. You shouldn’t put yourself down so much.
    You weren’t so bad as a boy, and I probably wouldn’t have said no. I’m 60 years old, and in the past have had many different kinds of relationships with boy’s. Some of them have been very close, but others have been the type where things have happened, but only after realising the boy’s have wanted the relationship to progress. You should never give up, because when the right boy comes along, you will just know it.

  2. dont let life get you down and the comment you made about that you was not a verry good looking bo is bullshit you was a verry handsome young boy at a young age so stop utting yourself down ithink you were verry georgues at the young age and still as handsome now so stop and be proud of yourself people out here still love

  3. Unbelievable … I can hardly believe this … believe it or not, but this is all like me. I wrote to you more about your yesterday’s mail … maybe something very confusing. I write to you more, but not today, I guess, but I’ll try tomorrow. Take good care of yourself.

    • Yes that was me about 20 years ago.
      I photographed the old paper photos with android phone today so not really good quality. Sorry.
      Frankly i don’t really have big opinion of myself looks wise.
      I must say i am very shocked by your extremely positive comments.
      I fail to see what you find so cute about those pics? I don’t like my looks at all. Never did.
      My mother and late grandmother on mother’s side both have light blue eyes but i wasn’t lucky enough to get them.
      The hair is all dark black now but the body hair remained light. When you look at it from a certain angle of light it looks almost blond.
      I always longed and suffered a lot for not having blue eyes and blondish hair.
      Don’t know why.
      It went so far that now i prefer blonde girls and blond kids in general aswell.
      The second pic is from kindergarten 5 years of age others are at 6 and 8 years old
      More or less.

      Thank you all very much for the positive comments.
      Tommorow a much brighter post i promise.
      Happy holidays to you and your loved ones.

  4. I agree with the others about you being cute in your younger days (likely you still are – many of us don’t like our own looks). What you are expressing is something that is felt by a lot of boylovers I suspect. (There is a difference between boylovers and pedos BTW – pedos want to use the boy to pleasure and please themselves. Boylovers want to please the boy – always his rules! Any others reading this might want to respond to that definition.) The bottom line is, like everything else in life, temporary – the boy becomes a man so even if you had a boy or son – those fleeting moments would become a memory. If you need Peter Pan, become a teacher – easy on the eyes and back and they are always the same age – or whatever ages you like to teach. smile

    Hope to hear from you.

  5. I read these comments and realize there is a lot of love here and that is one thing I love about this place….. from the minute I joined I knew there was love and acceptance here. blueeyes, you are loved and I do understand your pain.. to encourage you, I would say to live the best you can with what you have…. enjoy and inspire other boys and when you come home, pat yourself on the back for making a difference in at least 1 boy’s life that day. That will help knowing you helped a boy even if he wasn’t your own. There are boys out there that need someone to love them, and I do not mean sexually…. I mean as a caring role model…. something I did not get growing up. Maybe that is the reason I long to care for a boy today. But realize that you are loved here and hey, I think you were pretty cute as a boy…. I wouldn’t have passed you by smile

    hug heart

  6. You see how you are loved here. Then, never give up. This blog is full of nice BL but not only for boys, for boys lovers too. This blog is a way of expression for brotherhood. Don’ think that our lives were easy. BL’s life is often difficult but the boys, or maybe only one boy deserve to be loved, or simply your friend for a while. Everybody read your stories. And we are all with you.

  7. Dearest blueeyes there is so much I want to say to you, but most of is has been said. My heart is touched deeply. You can read more about me on the Bob intro. Please write to me I’d love to share with you.
    You were a very handsome, cute boy. I would have loved to have known you and shared your interests.
    I was beaten, shamed, and unloved as a child. I grew up in a very dangerous environment and knew what it was to be knifed and shot before I was 14. I hung myself when I was 8 years old and only lived by a trick of fate, yet somehow my life has helped many others.
    Find joy where you can and hold onto it. There are people here who care, you are not alone. Peace, hope and love to you. inlove

    • I’m so sorry to hear about what you went through as a child.
      It breaks my heart when i see prople beating their own kids and i can’t do anything about it. :sad: :angry:
      My problems compared to yours seem ridiculous now and i feel a little ashamed.
      I hope you are doing ok now in your life.
      hug

  8. you are gonna make me cry cry I know how you feel, believe me, despite my young age, i too have felt lonely all my life and can’t wait too meet a boy or man who just makes my heart beat non-stop and fills my stomach with that amazing butterflies-flyirng-around feeling. You were a really cute boy, and no doubt you must still be really handsome to this day yes Specially pic #2, you seem so sweet! And your words are made out of sugar, too. You are an amazing person, i trust that you will have no difficulty finding the right boy very soon and that you will make him really happy good Cheers! may 2016 make our wish of having a little youngfriend come true drinks

    • Thank you Matty.
      Your words mean a lot to me.
      I would love to visit NY someday.
      My good friend’s aunt lives in New Jersey.
      And a local woman from my town here has a great italian restaurant in Astoria, NY.
      I’m from Europe and i’m not sure if I’ll ever get a chance to travel to America, if i ever do we can meet and have a chat over drinks. I can feel you ‘re a good guy. May God bless you and your family. And all the good people like you in this world.

  9. I understand completely… I too man in a bad place at the moment, and have been very down on myself…I also have a profound bound with any kids i meet. I love teaching them new things, and i love the look they get when they learn something new, it is so amazing…I hope you can work though what you are going though man, Best of luck and lots of love smile

  10. You’re way to hard on yourself Dude. you were a cute kid. Everyone is different. Different people find different things cute. I almost never pick any of the top 3 in the weekly submission thing ;-p I still say it;s cause I have the best taste, but whatevs ;-p Smirks at the other guys, mwahahah. Jokes.
    Anywas, don’t be all down on yourself man.. And check your private messages. I got an idea for ya. pokes out his tonge at the other BL’s… specially the ones that know his idea. :-PPPPPPPPPPP *blows rasberris

  11. first off, don’t worry about this blog disappearing, I’m sure there’s people here like my self who would be more than happy to give you there email so you will never have to face this f###ed up world alone. dog and lastly I totally agree with codyboys definition of a B.L.(if only more would live by it).

  12. Thank you all for all your kind and loving support. Thank you for having the will and patience to come here and write such long passionate comments.
    It shows that you have a good heart, that you care about other people and their problems. It shows how much you got touched by my post.

    The lack of a son or any kind of boy is a big void in my life, but unfortunately it is not the worst thing. My life is full of other worse problems, but it gets especially tough for holidays when you realise another year is over and still there is no special boy in your life. And agsin you are all alone for the holidays.
    I guess i needed to get all that out.

    This was the saddest most horrible year of my life full of dear beloved people that left this world too soon, full of sadness and horrible pain. May it end as soon as pissible and never repeat itself ever again!

    I wish you all nothing but happiness and joy in 2016 and many more beautiful boy angels to adore.

  13. You were a very beautiful boy and you have a very beautiful soul. If I grew up with you and you were my friend, I would have loved to have held you and kissed you. Two beautiful boys together. You deserve to have a boy of your own. Don’t ever rule out that possibility. Don’t give up on your dreams.

    • I won’t. That is the one dream i will never stop dreaming. Even though none of my dreams ever come true. I will never give up. I feel like we BLs were blessed with the special ability to truly know just how special boys are. And regular people will never experience that feeling at least not in full.
      Only once you lack something so much in life, only then you learn to truly appreciate it.
      If i ever get a boy of my own i will show him every single day just how important and dpecial he really is.

  14. New to the site, however, I feel I can comment here, as a young boy, you were adorable. you have the look I always seek out, must be friends first before any actions. Also take this into consideration, we are family, we have the same interest, therefore if something
    is on your mind, and you need to talk it out, do so with us. Life can be hard and unfair, but we will be there. Enjoy life, enjoy the great post. joy

  15. Friend,

    I read your letter and found it quite interesting, because our lives are somewhat similar, the differences are very small. So, I want to tell you something. Please do not misunderstand, because just like you, I know your pain, because I went through it. It may seem strange what I speak, it is more heart.
    All you really need is forgiveness. It may be strange, but true.
    You were not guilty. Believe. You were not guilty of the evil deeds that his father did to you, or from the evils of his mother, much less these terrible things that happened to you on the course of life, where you hid yourself. But I realized you more guilt for wrongs that others have done for you at the time that you try to be a good boy to please God.
    Like I said, please do not get me wrong, for I know your pain. But you need to do one simple thing: forgive. Forgive those who hurt you one day – especially his father. Only I know how difficult it is to forgive someone when that someone is wrong and you right. But forgiveness is the best medicine for the soul. Brings back peace, hope and a lot of good things. It was very difficult for me, forgive my cousin who brutally sexually raped me, forgive my mother who did evil to me and my father who rejected me. But only in the day, I decided to forgive them, I could live again and found peace again. And above all, forgive yourself.
    It is difficult, is! I will not say it’s easy, but worth it.

  16. Hang in there hope all goes well for you. In your pics you were cute as a kid I feel the same way about boys and they are drawn like magnets to me I love their company it makes my life whole.

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