I don’t know, if anyone is gonna read that or if anyone is gonna be interested in what I want to say here. Ever since I was about 13 or 14 (I’m 18 now), I’ve had this kind of weird fascination for younger boys from about 9-12 or 13, and it has grown stronger the older I got. I want to look at them cause I find some of them so incredibely beautiful, I want to talk to them cause I wanna hear what they have to say, I wanna know how they think, because they have this perfect ballance between the thoughts of a child, and the thoughts of an adult. They aren’t like 5 year olds, who are all driven by their fantasy, but they neather are like grown ups or older teenagers who are pessimistic and don’t believe in truly good and wonderful things anymore.
This interest I have in those boys is not at all sexual. I don’t know how to really put it, but there’s a weird sexual energy going out from boys that age, maybe because they’re about to hit puberty, but although I can feel it, it doesn’t really affect me. Like, I could never imagine having sex with a boy. I’m bisexual and, when I’m with guys, I prefer young-looking partners (no beard and stuff), but not child-like.
Once I see a really beautiful boy, I can’t look away. Their perfect skin, their beautiful, shining, eyes, their voices, their smiles – it just makes me believe in happiness.
Does anyone know what I mean? I don’t know why, but I feel bad about having those feelings.