In loving memory of my cousin who died 15 years ago today

I am sorry if I’m taking my personal stuff here but i need to get this horrible pain out or i will explode.
The other day you saw in my post about the Sweeten brothers how much losing Sawyer broke my heart, but sadly that is not the saddest post i have to make this May.
This one is about my first cousin who died tragically in a car accident on 19/May/2001.
He was two years older than me and even though we only saw each other for 2 weeks every other summer, he was the closest i ever had to a real brother.
We even had the same first name.
The last time i saw him i was 11 and he was 13. After that stupid war came and we war parted for 4 years and after that the family moved to another country after their life was in danger. In 1999 they said don’t come yet untill we build the house you dont have where to sleep here.
And then in 2001 the unimmaginable happened. I wasn’t even able to go to the funeral because i had no passport at the time. A few years ago i started seeing him everywhere i go, i would just start crying all of the sudden. I knew i had to go visit his final resting place and light a candle and say a prayer. After that it got a little easier but the pain never really goes away you just learn to live with it.
Here are some photos. Sorry for bad quality. This was taken in 1987. And the film remained undeveloped for 20 years.
Many pictures were lost, but faith wanted that the photos of him and me would get preserved.In the first 2 photos he was 11 and i was 9.He is the one on the left.Photo26_26
Photo25_25
In this photo he was 4 and i was 2 years old. He is the boy on the right.0012
And in continuation a few photos of me from that period.
Me at 9 years old.Photo21_21
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And here was me at 2years old. The girl holding me was my other cousin. She died while giving birth to her first born son.0009
In my other post about the Sweeten boys, you all showed great respect and dignity with your comments. Please do the same here as this is equally painful for me. Thank you!

19 thoughts on “In loving memory of my cousin who died 15 years ago today

  1. My heart goes out to you! Cousins are siblings once removed! They are also friends that know you better that anyone! I’m very sorry for your loss! I too have lost close loved one’s and know how you feel, always remember, he is with his maker! There is nothing more precious than an innocent child! cry

    Be well!

  2. So pained to hear of such a great loss for you, as I understand what that is like. A close friend that I knew from childhood (and even shared a moment with when we were young boys) passed away just over a year ago very unexpectedly… he was going to be a new father.

    Do know that this angel of yours is in a beautiful place and is looking down smiling right this moment, cherishing the times you spent together. He was beautiful, and you are as well might I say. My heart goes out to you on this day, may you be well friend hug

  3. Thankyou for sharing such a moving and memorable post ,there is no pain like old pain ,I think most people suffer some lose in their lives so I know we will all show sensitivity ,respect and love my friend ,you have several guardian angels BLUEYES heart sorry

    • Thank you Obi and all others for your kind comments. Very much appreciated.
      When you lose a loved one, it’s extremely tough on their birthdays and at Christmas time when we think of the ones we lost. Especially when they went too young.
      You are right Obi, i do have several guardian angels now and i can feel their presence every day, some were family some weren’t but nevertheless, I do love them all the same. I’ve learned the hard way, you don’t need to be blood to be brothers, and you don’t need to be related to love someone more than life itself.

      All the best to all of you and your loved ones.

  4. I know exactly how you feel. My best friend of 25 years died 7 years ago. It left a great hole in my life.But as others have said you learn to live with it and try to get on with life while we still have it.God Bless.

  5. I too have lost friends& family along the way, the pain never goes away and there is no such thing as true closure. But what you do to honor their memories is to think of the good times and that the short time that you had with them was precious and know that they are angels from the heavens smiling down upon you during the day and at night they are the brightest shinning stars beaming over you, watching over you and are protecting you from harm! They wouldn’t want you to be sad! Just savor those special moments that cannot ever be erased from your memory and some day you will be together again!!….. heart

  6. BLUEYES, sorry for your loss. Life is too short for all the negativity and divisiveness that goes on everyday. We should cherish what we have, our family and friends, and make it a priority of being closer together and loving to each other as you and your cousin were together. The fun times, the family get-togethers, the parties and celebrations should be the priorities of life for us all. heart

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