• So here’s a little about me. Born in 1965 and from early puberty, age 12 or so, I knew I was different. In the late 70’s early 80’s, ages 14-17, I experimented with boys my own age under the assumption that I was gay. However, as I grew older my age of attraction, ages 12-15, didn't change. (My AOA depends more on how old the boy looks not actual age.) At that time I wasn’t sure what a pedophile was but I knew I didn’t want to be labelled as one. So I suppressed my boylove feelings and tried to live a “normal” life by dating girls/women but it never lasted long, only 2-3 months. My ex wife is the only exception to that, our relationship lasted about 2 years. I was divorced in 2003 and I’ve been single ever since. During the marriage is when I came to grips with my desires as a BL. I was mentoring this young boy through our church and each day my love for him grew stronger. I never crossed any line but I did spend a lot of time with him and became somewhat possessive. This caused his mother to become uneasy with our relationship and she removed him from the mentoring program. Needless to say that raised eyebrows and people began to talk and ask questions so I had to leave the program also. To this day my heart aches when I think of him, but I think of him often and with love. The void that losing him has left in my heart has never been filled and probably never will.